Summer, gorgeous summer. It’s the time of year filled with vibrant energy, long days and sunshine. (And a good dose of rain this year!) It’s the perfect time to match Mother Nature with renewed activity, growth, expansion and creativity. Healthy eating for summer joy turns frantic to fantastic by fueling you with all the energy you need to grab those chances to explore and grow.
We’re at that time of year again when the world is full of people who want to help us fix ourselves.
Have you noticed that many New Years’ resolutions have a scolding tone of voice? No more desserts for you until you’ve cleaned up your exercise routine, young lady. I told you not to spend so much over the holidays, young man. Now go clean that mess up!
Let’s try a different approach, shall we? Let’s go carrot instead of stick.*
I am entering 2016 from a different angle and I invite you to come along for the ride. I’m going to frame out the year through a series of 25 questions that ponder some of life’s intriguing questions. With that 25 questions I’m going to create 100 things – blog posts, webinars, courses, doodles, photos, etc. Anything that helps me express my ideas and experiences about that question. A different question every two weeks. I’ll be diving into the questions with clients, posting on Facebook, tweeting, journalling, Instagramming, creating and checking in with people around me.
Where did this idea come from? Almost out of the blue. I casually joined a group called Quest2015 in early December. I thought it was a group business planning exercise, and it was. What caught my eye initially was a 10% discount for an erasable calendar. I thought it would be great for planning the year out. This makes me laugh now.
My whole sense of what is possible in life was cracked open in December. I know, I know. That’s a pretty big statement. And we hear phrases like that all the time for some pretty mundane events. But it was a real game-changer, to quote the biz types.
Through small doors come life-changing experiences. Jeffrey Davis, of Tracking Wonder, put out the invitation to business artists to use 12 prompts from a group of innovative thinkers to dive deeper into the why of our businesses. I knew, and had an intellectual crush, on quite a few of them. How could I say no?
One of the early prompts was from Pam Houston. She is the author of four books, including novel Contents May Have Shifted and short stories Cowboys Are My Weakness. I haven’t read her work (soon to be fixed) but others call her beloved and insanely talented. She is Professor of English at UC Davis, directs the literary nonprofit Writing by Writers, and teaches in the Pacific University low residency MFA program.
She asked us to sit quietly and ask yourself, what in the last day or week or month has made your heart leap up? Not what should, or might or always had, but what did. Make that list. Be honest, even if it surprises you. Keep the list with you this month. Add to it when it happens. Train yourself to notice. Then ask your self today, how can I arrange my life to get more of those heart leaps in it?
This thing made my heart leap when my husband hung it before Christmas.
And it made my heart leap every time I stepped out the door and I’d forgotten that was there. Why?
Well, it’s shiny and pretty — and I love shiny things. I used to make things like this all the time but I stopped. Life got kind of serious and difficult and I forgot about making things. Then it got busy and making shiny things was frivolous. And often I was too tired to make things. More spiritually than physically.
And I finished it! I started with a hula hoop, some pool noodles, duct tape and a crapload of ornaments. Now it’s a circle of shininess. Sometimes there were balls on the ground and I knew that the squirrels had taken it for a spin. That makes my heart happy. I’d just put them back on for their next spin.
My heart leaps because I have a sense of getting a ‘next time’ to spin on the shiny circle again myself. Making that shiny circle of Christmas sparkliness seemed to herald a return to energy and possibility. Here’s what’s on my list . . .
Dive into sensual pleasures. Movement that nourishes. Joy in others. The beauty of nature. Giving love away like it’s a bottomless pool. Laughing with friends until you cry or spit or expel something. Pretty things that please the eye. Good music. Deeply connecting with others. Seeing people grow into their potential. Remembering warm times from the past. Making things. Writing things. Cooking things.
January is a tricky time of year. There’s a natural settling in that comes from the lead of winter. Many of our animal brethren are hibernating and the song of cozy sings. For those who are internal and introspective there can be too much burrowing in and losing contact with the pleasures and joys of nature and connection. To much disconnection from the beauty that life offers if we can see it.
I find my body gets so out of synch over Christmas that a sense of depression falls on it by the end of the month. And with my body goes my mind. Adopting the “New Year’s resolutions” of healthy eating and exercise is more about restoring mental and physical balance than losing weight or changing a size. I want to restore the connection to my nourishing inner life.
Sometimes I have trouble recognizing the things that make my heart leap, even with the return of healthy kindness to my body. Then I turn to another two of my intellectual crushes — Rick Hanson and Barbara Fredericton. I’ve been very lucky to meet both of them and was dweeby when I did.
Rick Hanson wrote Hardwiring Happiness, which is filled with practical mindfulness practices that help your brain balance it’s tendency to see the negative. Barbara Frederickson is a researcher and professor of psychology at UNC at Chapel Hill. Her research reveals how positive emotions, fleeting as they are, can tip the scales toward a life of flourishing. Her Positivity website is a good place to start and has a handy app that helps you see where your emotions are at.
This is a perfect time for journalling and visiting with yourself. Ask — where does your heart leap? Pull out your pictures from last year. As you leaf or page through, remember the moments that your heart leapt. As you have a few moments of quiet let your mind wander to the times of pleasure, happiness and joy. Make a list of the important people in your life and write down those heart leaping experiences with them. Then do the same for those times you shared with strangers. Anything that brings you back to the joys of 2014. Let your mind and heart take you from there.
I divide my experiences into pleasure, happiness, and joy. For me, pleasure is a personal experience. Some delicious chocolate, a good meal, a nice glass of wine. Happiness is a harmony thing. The moments with family and friends of warmth, successes, connection, brightness and order make me happy. Joy comes from a larger place, a place where I can witness the unfolding of what is beautiful and right in the world.
*Not to say that stick doesn’t have it’s place. Sometimes the stick of a deadline or a promise is just what will keep you chugging along. But it’s a heavy-handed tool and you’re much more treasured than that.
Photo: Love joy_ Dave Parker CC 2.0
Let’s raise a glass to the season of joy, love, and food. Cookie swaps, cheese trays, turkey dinners, cocktails and fruit cakes, shall we? I mean, what would the holidays look like if we didn’t have food to bring us together? Time for some mindful eating?
Food is a social lubricant that plays so many roles – it brings us together, distracts us, soothes us, entertains us, numbs us or lets us shine. So many uses, yet so many places to find ourselves overwhelmed. Hands up everyone who hits mid-December and thinks, “If I eat another bite I’ll explode!”
We can’t avoid the season of excess, so it’s important to come to peace with it. This year I’m proposing an unlikely answer to Christmas excess. Perhaps the tools of mindfulness — mindful eating in this instance — can help us have a simpler, more peaceful holiday.
I am a late-comer to mindful eating. When I first learned about mindful eating at Duke it left me cold. Our class had reconvened in North Carolina after our first month of training. We were full of joy and excitement to see each other and share our new perspectives and experiences as budding coaches. We dutifully waited through our morning classes to catch up at lunch, only to discover that we were going to have a ‘mindful lunch’. It was a silent meal with no interaction. We focussed on our bland cafeteria food as we glanced anywhere in the room away from each other.
Blech.
Still, I keep hearing good things about mindful eating. Like more enjoyment from your food, or weight maintenance or balanced eating. From my own experience, I can tell exactly where my emotional and mental state is by how I’m eating. Am I under deadline pressure? Then I’m bolting down my food. Am I worried or feeling emotionally vulnerable? Then I’m eating chocolate at night. Am I relaxed and happy? Then I’m on Yummly, exploring new recipes for dinner deliciousness.
So if silent eating with endless chewing isn’t my thing, where can I find the gold in mindful eating?
I’ve decided to see if paying attention to my Christmas treats can open up the joy and connection of the season. I want to see if it’s possible to shift my perspective about holiday food from being a management project to a treat to savour.
Here are three ways to check in:
Tune into your Senses
Think about getting ready to eat at a holiday event. Perhaps you’re helping yourself at a buffet table or enjoying a glass of wine and some cheese at a cocktail party. Take a moment to run through the different sensory experiences you are having with your food.
Don’t take more than a short moment to run through your senses. Try to avoid comparing your experience with others you’ve had in the past. If it’s a traditional family dish, don’t dwell too long on whether it was better last year or not. Stay in the present and notice what’s going on at the moment.
Thank the Cook
Take another moment to think about where the food came from. If it’s a potluck, do you know who brought the dish? Is it your host’s go-to favourite for parties? Maybe there’s a way to make a pleasant connection with someone over their cooking talents.
Do a Regular Check-in
Check in with how hungry you are on a regular basis. And how satisfied. Give your hunger a number on the range of one being ravenously hungry and ten being painfully full. A great rule of thumb is to stay between four and eight – not too hungry and not too full. Then think about how satisfied you are with what you’ve eaten. I know I’ve tried substituting a healthier food for something I’m craving, only to finally break down and just eat the food I’m craving. For me, an apple doesn’t satisfy the craving for chocolate. It’s almost always better to be satisfied by a mindful experience of chocolate than to eat three apples and then a chocolate bar.
Short bursts of mindful eating will help you tune into the wonderful parts of the season. If you’re having trouble applying these three principles to your eating, perhaps it’s a sign that you’re getting overwhelmed by your holiday schedule. Take some time out to take care of yourself.
I’m looking forward to English trifle (one of my mother’s recipes), gingerbread cookies (courtesy of Martha) and some smooth Italian red wine. What’s your favourite holiday treat?
Re·sil·ience noun ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s
: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens
: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.
Bessel van der Kolk has worked since the 1970s with veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. He recently did an interview with Krista Tippett from On Being. He’s discovered some fascinating connections between mind and body and trauma. He works with people who have suffered terrible events in their lives, and his insights are valuable for everyone. His message is that resilience comes from working with our bodies first and our minds later.
It’s a lovely interview, full of hope and promise and resilience.
Listen here: Restoring the Body: Yoga, EMDR, and Treating Trauma
Posted by Deirdre Walsh
After taking a few turns through the healthcare system with family young and old, I found myself more and more disheartened with the whole process. We didn’t see the positive results we hoped for from the rounds of doctor visits, hospitalizations and changes in meds. This wasn’t because of poor care or lack of commitment, though. We met a lot of incredibly dedicated and caring doctors and nurses, and for that we will always be profoundly grateful.
It’s just that none of the medical teams we met ever worked like a team. We could see glimmers of coordination from time to time, but more often individuals made significant medical decisions without even thinking about what might be going on elsewhere. We considered ourselves very lucky on the few occasions when we, as family, were included in the discussions.
There was no central resource, no single person who had an overall plan. There was so much pointless discomfort and suffering because things fell through the cracks of different specialties. I’ve heard from others who have had close encounters with the health care system that our experience is sadly familiar.
It left me longing for a better experience, and for a guide who could help us navigate these confusing waters. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered a new approach to medicine.
Integrative medicine takes the best of Western medicine – diagnostic imaging, surgery, drug therapy, radiation, and physical and psychological therapies – and combines it with complementary healing therapies – like naturopathy, osteopathy, acupuncture, yoga, meditation – but only when the benefits are scientifically proven. The elder statesman is Dr. Andrew Weil at the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine. More and more teaching hospitals in the U.S. are getting on board with integrative options for patients.
One of the best ideas behind IM is that you – the patient – are at the centre of your care. Most people have a primary care doc, but they also consult with a range of other health professionals who have their own advice and treatments – naturopaths, pharmacists, chiropractors, counsellors, osteopaths, acupuncturists, massage therapists, etc. What the IM approach does is create a way for all those practitioners to work together and integrate their individual treatments into one overall plan.
It’s a new idea and it may be a while before your doctor gets onboard. There are a few MDs in Ontario who are open to complementary medicine but they usually operate outside the government-funded system. The physicians who object to IM claim that it’s diluting the scientific rigour of the Western medical system. The very valid point they’re making is that, as a healthcare consumer, you need to be very discerning about the kind of healthcare you are receiving.
Perhaps it’s time to create a different kind of relationship with your doctor. You can use the principles of IM in your relationship with your doctor, even if the funding and coordination isn’t there. Be open about all the kinds of therapies you are using to maintain your health. Start a conversation about your diet, exercise, sleep and other health habits to get their input.
Look for this kind of approach from everyone who influences your health:
Photo: In 30 Minutes guides
There is a time for dreaming and a time for doing.
The art is in knowing the difference.
When it’s time for change and setting goals the call comes in different ways. Some calls ask first to be dreamt into existence. Dreaming is part of an active creation process. It’s a fun place because you live in the world of possibilities.
Something marvellous forms itself in your vision. You imagine new twists and turns — a new development in your story. You have a new excitement about life. Anything can happen if you’re open to it.
Other calls come with a to-do list already attached. You go from step one to step fifty and, voila, you’re there. You organize yourself, then learn the path, and refine the skills you need to succeed. Things like math or music or web development are like this.
When you’re young you learn many skills to become a ‘better’ adult. The cool thing about skills is that they can circle back to dreaming again — different skills let you express your vision in unique ways.
The two approaches call for very different mindsets and practices. Your brain will be wired to favour one over the other.
The wise ones learn to cultivate both.
One of the best guides I’ve found for creating the practices that will stimulate creativity is Todd Henry of the Accidental Creative. The short version of his ‘rules for a creative life’ are:
If it’s the skill of learning skills that you need then don’t look any further than Canada’s singing astronaut, Chris Hadfield.
His memoir, An Astronaut’s Guide To Life On Earth, is a hymn to the joy of preparedness, over-preparedness and obsessive attention to detail. Of course, riding what is basically a large bomb into space will do that. His rules for success are:
Now, for a moment, let’s think about how we could use these two complementary mindsets to the goal of losing weight.
The creative part of the process might look like this:
The skill-based part of the process might look like this:
Posted by Deirdre Walsh